Homeless not Hopeless: Stephen's Story

Skylar has big blue eyes and soft blond hair. He giggles and makes gurgling sounds; he will be two in September. Skylar is also homeless—he lives in the Women’s and Family Shelter with his father Stephen, a single parent.

After moving from his hometown of Cheyenne, Wyoming with his girlfriend, Stephen had a hard time finding a job to support his family. His relationship failed shortly after he moved to Billings; as a result, he found himself homeless as well as unemployed. Stephen has no family in Billings, and has had trouble finding a dependable support network. “I’m doing it by myself, but it’s making it a lot harder,” he says.

One of Stephen’s goals is to provide Skylar with a stable lifestyle—one that will be very different from Stephen’s own childhood. Growing up, “Mom couldn’t stay still,” he says. “We moved to be with the guy she was with at the time. I don’t want him to grow up that way—that’s why I’m trying to get myself into a more permanent situation.”

Stephen gained custody of Skylar in November of last year when his mother decided to move to the East Coast. “I told her he could stay with me. I didn’t want him going across the country in a bus like that,” he says. Stephen is convinced that his son is better off because he lives with Stephen, but the absence of Skylar’s mother has made life difficult on a number of levels, including financially. Although Skylar’s mother has been ordered by the court to pay child support, Stephen is still waiting for any payment from her.

Although Stephen is eager to get back on his feet, he faces special challenges as a single parent. For example, he would like to continue his education, but isn’t sure he can find affordable child care that would allow him to work and go to school. He has an Associates degree in Medical Science, and says he would like to go into pediatrics. “I have that degree there if I ever need it,” he says, “but it’s difficult to go to school with him and work. I don’t know if I can do it all at once.”

He has also struggled to find child care with flexible hours. Although he has worked late-night shifts in the past, he cannot find child care during the evenings, and is instead forced to give up work opportunities so he can stay at the shelter and care for his son.

On top of struggling to find a proper child care facility for Skylar, Stephen has also had to juggle his job search with attending mandatory classes offered by the shelter. There are “so many classes and stuff, I don’t have enough time to get out and look for a job,” he says. Before he was a single parent, he was able to work three days a week and still have time and money to take his son to his favorite places. “His first camping trip when he was 6 months old,” he remembers. “I made a little crib out of an air mattress and he curled up and slept by his dad.”

“We’re here [at the shelter] to get on our feet and be self-sufficient,” he says. “Hopefully after three months I’ll have money set back to get my own place.” Stephen remains optimistic about his current situation and the fact that “this is the first time in my life that this has happened to me. Skylar keeps me going. It’ll take me a little time, but I’ll get us out.” Until then, he will work toward finding an accommodating job and the resources he needs. He only asks to have his life back.

HERE'S MORE ABOUT STEPHEN AND SKYLAR IN THE BILLINGS GAZETTE (JAN. 31, 2010)
http://www.billingsgazette.com/news/local/article_c76d6fbc-0ee6-11df-8a2d-001cc4c002e0.html